A cruise can be your worst nightmare, or it can be your best vacation ever. Choose the wrong ship and you could be trapped in a Las Vegas at sea for a week, wandering in search of an empty lounge chair, bombarded by infomercial-style sales pitches, forced to dine with strangers whose idea of a thrill is the ice sculptures at the midnight buffet, and waiting in hour-long lines to get ashore in tourist-jammed ports. Choose the right ship, however, and you could be exploring exotic islands that are tough to access any other way, from a perspective that sheds new light on the country's history and culture. You could be standing in the ocean breeze on your cabin balcony at sunset, with nothing in sight but a sparkling azure sea. You could be enjoying a vacation that combines sightseeing and spoil-you-rotten pampering, minus the stresses of moving from hotel to hotel.

FIVE STEPS TO A FOOLPROOF CRUISE
Tried-and-true ways to transform a sailing into your best vacation ever

Step 1: Select the right ship
When Jean-Paul Sartre wrote, "Hell is other people," he must have been trapped on the wrong cruise ship. The single most important thing you can do to ensure an enjoyable time is to sail with like-minded travelers. To help you land in the right crowd, I've outlined the type of passenger you're likely to find on different cruise lines. The second most important consideration is size, the third is features.

How much does size matter?
The number of passengers is a ship's most vital statistic. Is your main goal to sightsee in small, picturesque ports? Then you need a small vessel (500 passengers or fewer). Or are you looking for fun and games in a floating amusement park? Then you need a vessel large enough to provide the necessary facilities and entertainment.