How To: Be a good dinner guest in France

You wouldn't think a country so close to England would abound in opportunities for cultural misunderstanding. But France's culture, after all, is Latin, and its language gave us the word etiquette (not to mention faux pas). Among certain Americans, France has a prickly reputation—and in fact, the mayor of Paris has waged several politeness campaigns in his city—but getting along in this ancient European culture is relatively simple. You just do what you'd do in any place where you'd want to come off well: Play by its rules.

The Table: The Classic Five-Course Meal and How to Eat It
(with assistance from André Soltner, a dean at the French Culinary Institute and longtime chef at the famed Lutèce)

Wine
Since in this case you'll be having beef as your main course, it'll be red. NEVER pour your own glass at a restaurant. Always wait for the server to fill it for you. If you're at a dinner party, the host will do the pouring. Women, especially, should always have their wine poured for them by men. If you don't want more, don't drink too much from your glass; it will be refilled automatically.

First course
Asparagus stalks, served lukewarm in a hollandaise sauce. How to eat it: Asparagus is one of the few French foods that can—and in fact should—be eaten with the hands. Lift a spear by the large end and take bites starting at the tip. You may dip for extra sauce. Leave uneaten on the plate about a quarter of an inch, at the broad end of the stalk.

Second course
Langoustines, poached in a bouillon called a nage, with carrots, celery, onions, salt, pepper, and white wine, and served in a soup plate. How to eat it: Use your hands to take the langoustines out of their shells. Finger bowls with water are provided.

Third course
Boeuf à la mode, with a side of gnocchi à la Romaine and a few vegetables (carrots and small silver onions). How to eat it: "I see Americans. They hold the fork in a really special way," Soltner says. He's being polite, but switching hands is not normally done. ALWAYS keep your knife in your right hand, fork in your left. Place the beef in your mouth without turning the fork right side up. Spear the gnocchi with your fork, still in the left hand, and again keep the tines pointed down. You may scoop up vegetables and garniture with the tines turned up, but keep the fork in your left hand. When you're done—having cleaned your plate (as you always must), place your knife and fork close together, parallel, handles facing you at about a four o'clock position on the plate.

Fourth course
Cheese selection accompanied by a salad consisting of lamb's tongue and olive oil with a little vinegar or lemon juice. How to eat it: First of all, it's THE ONLY COURSE you're allowed to pass up. If you are a vegetarian or don't eat certain foods or have allergies, you must let your host/hostess know well in advance, because refusing a course is just not done. Unless it's cheese. Don't cut the salad. Roll the greens onto your fork clockwise, holding the fork in your right hand. Cut the cheese with your right hand, then place a piece (or spread it, if the cheese is soft) on some bread, which you'll hold in your left hand. Generally, you'll have the bread and cheese in your left hand, the salad in your right.