How To: Behave on the street in India

India can seem a realm of utter chaos—and indeed, a walk to the market is no Western walk in the park. But whether you're visiting a sari shop or a family home for dinner, there are dozens of rules you might want to follow to avoid the (forgiving) laughter with which most Westerners are greeted. In an absurdly heterogeneous culture, basic rules make sense of the contradictions—especially in the sanctum of the family home. "India is such a chaotic country," says chef Madhur Jaffrey, "that your home becomes your total shelter."

The Table: How to Eat, Part 1 (The North)

The rules of eating in India depend on whether you're in the north or the south (the traditional meal below is an example of one you might have in the north). One thing remains the same wherever you are: Wash before every meal. Even small street stands usually set aside a bowl of water for this (but bring wipes, since they won't have soap).

1. Rice
You can use your right hand, but if you find that too difficult, cookbook author and chef Madhur Jaffrey recommends using a fork and a spoon—or a fork and a knife, which is "the old British way." Do not use the whole hand to mash the rice and sauces together (although in the south this is acceptable). Use your left hand only to hold your drink or to pass food.

2. Chapati
Use ONLY your right hand to handle the chapati. To tear off a piece, use the last three fingers to hold down the larger portion while, with your thumb and forefinger, you turn up the edge and tear by pressing the forefinger down and the thumb up and inward.

3. Maacher Jhol (fish curry)
You're going to want to alternate bites of fish and rice. Remove the bones from the fish as best you can with your right hand. If you get any in your mouth, try to remove them several at a time instead of one after another.

4. Rogan Josh (lamb curry)
Tear the meat from the bone with your hand, but use AS FEW FINGERS AS POSSIBLE. "In the north, you tend to use just the final digits of your hand," says Jaffrey. Then, with your thumb and forefinger, fold a small piece of chapati over a piece of meat to create a little sandwich.

5. Water or Lassi
This is generally all you'll get, beverage-wise. Alcohol is not drunk with a traditional meal, but feel free to bring beer or whiskey to dinner if you know the family drinks.

How to Eat, Part 2 (The South)

In traditional households throughout the south, it's common to sit on a very low stool with the food on the floor before you. You must bend over deeply to eat, and the doubled-up posture is thought to help you get fuller faster. There's a general order to eating in the south: The meal begins with a bit of sweetness, proceeds through the rice dishes, and concludes with the more savory ones. Note, too, that meat will not always be served in the south (Jaffrey estimates that 30 percent of southerners are vegetarians). And no matter where you are in India, don't ask for beef (which is not eaten by Hindus) or pork (which is not eaten by Muslims) if they are not on the menu.