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Etiquette 101: Japan

by Boris Kachka | Published November 2007 | See more Condé Nast Traveler articles

The End of the Meeting
Usually it is not as strictly defined as the beginning. If you have somewhere else to be, tell your hosts in advance so they can plan accordingly. You'll know that the meeting is over when others begin picking up their cards from the table.

The Lesson: The Art of the Bow
There are three types of bows in Japan; you'll be using the first almost exclusively. Here's who they're for…

115 degrees (a quick dip of the head and shoulders)
For neighbors and friends.

230 degrees
For saying good morning to a colleague, thanking a boss for assigning you a task, or entering an important meeting.

345 degrees (really bending at the waist)
For the president of a company, when showing deep appreciation or sympathy, or upon greeting the emperor. This one is reserved for rare occasions and is considered disturbing or disingenuous when overused.

Gender Politics: Women Only
Regrettably for some, deep gender differences persist in Japan. Here are a few things you should expect to see, and do

1. When bowing, women should hold their hands flat against the body, with fingers clasped. Men should hold their arms straight against their sides, palms against the legs.

2. Serve and hold any drink—tea, sake, beer—with two hands (one supporting the bottom of the cup, the other holding it by the handle or around the middle). Men should not do this; it's considered effeminate.

3. Women close their kimonos or robes right over left; men do the opposite.

4. In a mixed group, women are expected to serve the men drinks, then each other.

5. Don't wear heavy perfume to a sushi bar. Chefs think it disturbs the palate.

Expert Opinion: Tips From a Concierge
Adrian Fautt, chief concierge at the Park Hyatt Tokyo, is from Los Angeles but has lived in Japan for 15 years—long enough to correct his mistakes and gently steer Americans in the right direction

Tipping is allowed
That is, when it's truly merited—especially at full-service traditional Japanese inns and restaurants. But it's not for show, says Fautt, "it's done off where people don't see it." Take your server aside, compliment him, and hand over the money, folded several times, in one of the small envelopes that are sold in local stores. He may refuse once or twice, but keep insisting. If he refuses a third time, chances are he genuinely doesn't want it. This holds true even at places like the Hyatt. Rumors that tipping isn't allowed at big hotels aren't true—there's just no policy, and it should be done very discreetly.

Use only one hand when you hand over your credit card
Unlike with a business card, which must be proffered using both hands (see "The Business Meeting"), extend only one hand when giving someone your credit card, or risk receiving a puzzled look.

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