Your guide to NOT embarrassing yourself in Italy, Turkey. Greece, and Croatia

Etiquette 101: Italy

Don't come to Italy expecting an easygoing Mediterranean culture. "Italy is a fast, rough, tough country," says Beppe Severgnini, author of La Bella Figura, a witty, clear-eyed anthropological study of his countrymen. "Too fast in many ways, but they work bloody hard." So show up on time to that business meeting (in fact, confirm it weeks ahead), don't dawdle at the espresso bar, and don't dress like you're in the Bahamas. And whatever you do, don't slow down in the middle of the highway. Whether you're relaxing on the Riviera or visiting Rome for the nightlife, Italy may be more of an adjustment than you thought, and in completely unexpected ways.

THE TABLE

Italian service is generally more accommodating than that of, say, the French. Ask and you'll probably receive—along with, perhaps, a few Italian jokes at your expense. Restaurateur Giorgio Locatelli, who grew up in Italy and runs the acclaimed Locanda Locatelli, in London, says that his son became notorious in their town for eating lard when he was six. "Now he's nineteen, and they say, 'How's your son? Is he still eating lard?' " Here, a few simple rules for not becoming the butt of a lifelong joke.

Don't season anything—bread, pasta, an entrée—without first trying it. You'll lose respect as a discerning diner.

Sometimes you'll get bread with a little diced tomato or olive oil to start your meal. Consider it an extra. They do; in fact, they'll include it in a general cover charge, or il coperto, which includes water and amuse-bouches. You'll be tipping much less than in the States (ten percent if you really love the service), so think of this as a sort of semi-service charge.

Extra Parmesan is a privilege, not a right. And never request it with anything fish-based. "If they think that something should be eaten with cheese, they'll offer it," says Locatelli. "If it doesn't come, don't ask for it."

Don't mix and match your pastas and sauces. Certain pastas bind well with certain sauces. You'd be hard-pressed to find a spaghetti Bolognese, and for good reason.

You don't have to order all available courses—antipasti, primi, and secondi; two out of three are generally expected.

Don't ask for lots of ice in your soda. Most Italians don't take any at all, and lots of ice (like lots of water) is considered extra.

Sop up the remaining sauce—called scarpetti, or "little shoes"—with your bread. It's a great compliment to the chef.

Children eat what their parents eat. "You'll never find a kids' menu in an Italian restaurant," says Locatelli, except maybe "in some stupid place, like Venice."

Don't use a spoon to twirl your pasta. If you must, use the side of your plate.

Mealtime can be loud and convivial, as you'd expect, but generally not while you're digging in. The "Buon appetito" at the start of the meal signals that attention is now to be paid to the food, and little else.