Ancient history: The more you know about China—and the more you can say about it, pre-1850—the better. History is even the stuff of a current pop culture craze: In 2005 there was a reality show to choose actors for a movie based on the eighteenth-century classic Dream of the Red Chamber. A year later, an academic analysis of Confucius's Analects (written 479-221 B.C.) had a print run of 600,000.

PART III: About Face: 5 Don'ts and 5 Do's

Face is paramount in China. We know what it means to lose face and to save it, but what about giving, receiving, or preserving it? Even in neo-capitalist China, the most important commodity—and one infinitely more complex than money—is face. It's something you're likely to encounter in every interaction, whether you're dealing with a concierge, a party official, or a business contact. "When face confronts truth in China, truth loses," says Scott Seligman, businessman and author of Chinese Business Etiquette. "That's one of the reasons foreigners sometimes perceive the Chinese as not honest with them. Because this is such a powerful concept, it really trumps everything else."

DON'T lose your composure by getting angry or by becoming emotional in other ways. Anger costs face on both sides, and more important, it won't get you anywhere. The object of your anger is likely to shut down and refuse to help. Tears don't work either. Dunlop remembers being in the countryside for two exhausting weeks and breaking down before her hosts during an exhausting series of introductions around town. They became furious with her for costing them face in front of their neighbors.

DON'T assume "yes" means yes. Or "maybe," or any other answer. A refusal costs the refuser face. "You have to read between the lines," says one food writer who lived in Beijing. Most often you'll hear, "It's inconvenient" or suggestions of various other solutions."?'I'll look into it' is not a very good sign," says Klein. And pushing for a no will only make you come off as, well, pushy. It's best to work together after being refused—a table, a project, etc.—to come up with an alternate solution that preserves face for both parties.

DON'T say no in public, regardless of how odd the request. If an associate asks you to get his daughter into an American college, pull him aside and explain why not—privately. The same goes for dressing down an employee or complaining about lackluster service.

DON'T heatedly disagree in front of peers. The sorts of political debates that are standard dinner-party stuff in the West would be humiliating to a Chinese person surrounded by friends or colleagues. It's best to address serious concerns or disagreements in private.

DON'T tease or denigrate someone—or the institution he represents, or China—too quickly. It's not that they're missing a sense of humor, it's their sensitivity to grumbles, even meant ironically, that might be construed as face-losing.