PART III: Beware of Guanxi Bearing Gifts

Gift exchange is an essential aspect of building connections, and should be handled delicately.

It's best to have someone call ahead to the company you're meeting with and ask an assistant if they plan on exchanging gifts. Such advance notice is perfectly acceptable as a way of avoiding the awkward situation of one-sided gift-giving.

Gifts with a personal touch are nice, but don't overthink it. Good examples: a book containing photos of your hometown, a ceremonial plate, or better yet—when the occasion merits—a nice bottle of scotch, regardless of whether your colleague drinks. The point, says Dunlop, is to give "something branded that will look good on a cabinet even if they don't like it." In case they regift it, which is not uncommon, just make sure of two things: that it has nice, preferably showy packaging, and—possibly more challenging—that it's not made in China.

If a newfound "old friend" (a Chinese term loaded with irony) offers an unusually elaborate gift, you can be reasonably certain that a request for a large favor is in the offing—even something completely personal, like a call on a connection back in the United States to help with travel abroad. "There'll be a payback time," says Dunlop. "Sometimes it's difficult, but I would refuse." A good way of doing that is to state that company policy forbids it—whether or not that's true.

Be careful, in turn, of giving elaborate gifts to government officials; this might be construed as bribery. Recent scandals have made the government particularly sensitive to corruption. In fact, it might be best to hire a reputable consultant to do the government cultivating for you. They'll have the connections and the understanding of bureaucracy to get things going. Once the connection is made, appointments can be hammered out and banquets attended.