Getting a Lift From Carnival
German Chancellor Angela
Merkel rocks a bikini.
by Guy Martin
For those undecided about Mardi Gras wear, it's important to find proper sources of inspiration. A fired bank executive (with his '08 bonus in his pocket) being whipped by former depositors? That could really work for a lot of people outside the usual S&M demographic about now. But this Mardi Gras, the Daily Traveler is partial to the Bernie-Madoff-on-prison-KP-duty costume, e.g., stained and torn golf shirts and some ripped-up federal-issue khakis. It fits in with our whole plan for re-gifting ourselves with crap out of our closets for the duration of the crisis, anyway!
As ever, the Europeans and South Americans are way ahead of us. This year, in the Mardi Gras capitals of Brazil and Germany, nothing seems to be the flavor. Literally.
Sao Paolo's reigning queen of Carnival naughty, Viviane Castro, notable last year for incurring an actual fine from the Carnival authorities for wearing too little--that's a fine for being naked, in Carnival, in Sao Paolo, get it?--has a new idea.
First, let's recap. Viviane is a Sao Paolo "student" and samba school dancer with the X-9 Paulistana crew. Her '08 costume consisted of an inch-and-a-half-wide "cuff" running between her legs. The glitter-covered device had to be glued in place, over a splendid, eponymous "Brazilian," in fact. Seen front to back, it ran from the top of Viviane's pelvis bone to a point in the middle of her butt, a span of approximately nine crucial inches. According to Carnival authorities, the cuff's inch-and-a-half width didn't cover quite enough flesh up front.
But none of that is the point. Except that it is.
For last Friday's parade, Viviane promised to paint her body with an image of, in her immortal words, "the great political figure Barack Obama," even though X-9 Paulistana's theme was the preservation of the Amazon. Attention, red-blooded Democrats in Sao Paolo! Anybody get a shot of Viviane?
Seven thousand miles east of Rio, Carnival's epicenter in the Teutonic lands is the Rhineland capital of Cologne, with its forbiddingly dark Gothic Cathedral and its almost medieval party-till-you-die ethic. This time of year, Cologne is the un-Germany, playing a role not unlike that of New Orleans in America--the steam valve, the free city ruled by Bacchus.
The parade in Cologne is on one day, namely, today: Rosenmontag, Rose Monday, as opposed to the New Orleans style of rolling parades throughout the months of January and February. Rosenmontag is long, with dozens of floats.
Today's parade brings a similarly burning political issue involving a head of state. In this instance, though, it's the politician that's naked.
Since German chancellor Angela Merkel is trying to remake Germany's economy in the face of the global financial crisis (and trying to get re-elected), float designer Ariane Pfaffenholz thought she had a good idea: Why not present the chancellor as having had a political and economic makeover? An extreme plastic surgery-based makeover?
Presto: Behold the blonded, refreshed, post-surgery Angie mannequin, naked as the day she was born save for a pair of German Federal Eagles as pasties over what we might describe as breasts that were paid lots of close restorative attention by the surgeon-cum-float maker. This is the kind of expert body work that might "help" the real-life chancellor exactly as she, in turn, is trying to help Germany (and Europe) through the financial crisis by "reducing" debt. A metaphor not lost on the float makers, who call their creation, "Problem Zone Lifting: Towards a New Political Idea."
In the service of contrasts and ad hominem Carnival fun, the float makers also put a model of the "before" Angie on the float. Because the surgically altered Carnival Angie had more of that stand-up-and-say-hey quality than she (arguably) does in real life, people paid attention.
Should the chancellor's mannequin appear, as the Germans put it, "als Eva," meaning, literally "as Eve"? Well, that had never been an issue before. Exactly as in Sao Paulo, the Cologne Carnival authorities were "shocked" when Chancellor Merkel was unveiled last week.
Bringing it down to the wire, the float designers agreed to attach a bikini last weekend. A patriotic red, black, and gold bikini. The eagle pasties went on top of that. Some people were upset at the coverage of all the pulchritude, not least the float builders. The chancellor's office declined to comment.
"Look," said one of the float builders ruefully, trying to find a positive side by channeling his Carnival brethren in Sao Paulo. "The bikini is just one of those little Brazilians."
Further reading:
* Carnival: Socalicious (Boom Box)
* Dispatches: On the road
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