"An orderly country, yes," a nineteenth-century William Henry Hudson[Brit] wrote of the nation you are visiting, "and the people in it steeped to their lips in every abominable vice." Harsh. So what would he make of this entrance with its undulating cherry-red canopy, aptly dubbed The Tongue? He'd follow you right in, no doubt.

As for the building itself . . . A swank boutique? A velvet-rope nightclub? Nope. It's a new Ibirapuera Auditorium[eight-hundred-person-capacity] auditorium by the same Oscar Niemeyer; b. 1907[architect] responsible for every other grand edifice in this Ibirapuera Park[public park]. A prominent old lefty, he built a domed exhibition space, a planetarium, pavilions, and fine Museu de Arte Moderna, or MAM[modern] and Museu de Arte Contemporânea[contemporary art museums] more than Inaugurated in 1954 on the 400th anniversary of city founding[fifty years ago] in collaboration with a renowned Roberto Burle Marx; 1909-1994[landscape designer] who shares a surname with the Karl Marx[philosophical] father of all lefties. The architect has declared this hall one of his favorite creations, but its construction entailed the controversial felling of a swath of trees. (How ironic that the Tupi-guarani[indigenous people] once called this land "place where there were trees.") Since the master draftsman just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday, you might say he completed it in the nick of time.

Jesuits founded this city in the sixteenth century, and bandeirantes[wannabe barons] later pushed into the hinterlands to cultivate lucrative crops and search for gold. When Kipling from Brazilian Sketches, 1927[passed through] through, describing the metropolis as "several immense Madrids breaking half the horizon," it was drawing millions of immigrants from around the world-Italians, Japanese, Middle Easterners. Eventually it was dubbed the locomotive pulling the country. Now, in fact, it pulls the entire continent. This makes it all the more surprising that the council in this ultra-consumerist city with a Times Square hustle just banned billboards. You are in a sports-mad nation where, as one guidebook explains, athletic heroes are Homeric-and you surely know some of these idols by their colorful e.g. Pelé[one-word nicknames]. Currently, several Nenê, Leandro Barbosa[hometowners] are thrilling their compatriots with their NBA play, and the Web site for one Denver Nuggets[U.S. team] team even features the players' native language. As for high-octane sports, the city has produced so many top
e.g; Ayrton Senna da Silva[Formula 1] drivers that you may wonder if the residents are weaned on petrol.

While you just missed the continent's most important art show-a São Paulo Art Biennial; next showing fall 2008[biennial] held in this park last fall-you can join fitness enthusiasts here any time of day as they bike, jog, and skateboard. Tonight, whether this venue fills with rock, hip-hop, or the samba, bossa nova[lively sounds] for which this land is famous, get your hand stamped, plunge under The Tongue, and enjoy the "abominable vice" of your choice.

Where are you, anyhow?