Talk about a supercilious reception. This phalanx of natty islanders seems a little ruffled by your presence as you disembark after a marathon sea journey. The fellow on the left assesses you with a crimson eye that says, "Watch your step, landlubber." "If looks could krill," you mutter. Alright smarty, you might avoid any March of the Penguins allusions to break the, er, ice—they get that all the time. Besides, for all their attitude these guys aren't even emperors. Just ask Robin Williams.

You are in the middle of nowhere—no kidding—on a volcanic isle that lies some two thousand miles south of the island which administers it (both are a long way away from their parent nation). A few decades ago, this outcrop, which rises three thousand feet above sea level, was declared a wildlife reserve, together with a distant extinct volcano whose stark name affirms its insurmountability. Maybe your plumed greeters will deign to guide you up the cliffs...

Sixteenth-century Portuguese explorers are credited with finding this thirty-some-square-mile peat-covered rock, but it was ultimately christened after a non-Lusophone captain whose name rhymes with the common word for tussive activity. Over the centuries, this part of the ocean was sailed by clipper ships that sought the winds which thunder across southern latitudinal belts. The island wasn't thoroughly explored until the mid-1950s, however, when a nearby— a relative notion in these parts—country built a weather station here that it still operates. (You might ask why: The climate can pretty much be summed up as a hundred inches of rain a year.)

Until recently, the reserve was considered a fowl haven. Lamentably, it was reported last year that common rodents, which arrived with whalers back in the day, are now enormous and make a habit of devouring some small endangered species. These flippered avians struggle as well: Millions once made up the world's colonies, but now the numbers are only in the tens of thousands. Maybe these tough guys aren't sizing you up. Maybe they're imploring you for help.

Where are you, anyhow?

Enter To Win