Star Power

Star Treks
Armed with an exhaustive checklist and a fine–tooth comb, Debra A. Klein sizes up three top hotels

To see a hotel through the eyes of a real ratings arbiter, I meet with a AAA inspector in the lobby of a San Francisco five–star, five–diamond hotel. After she shares her itemized evaluation forms with me, we announce ourselves to the hotel's concierge (both AAA and Mobil visit hotels annually, first incognito and then announced).

Within minutes of shaking hands with the hotel managers, I feel the tensions rise as the inspector stoops over a toilet in the first guest room we visit and calls out "Hair! Hair on the seat!" The hotel managers, all standing at attention, don't flinch, but the casual conversation stops as the inspector tears through guest rooms like a Tasmanian devil, yanking out drawers, tugging on curtains, running a finger along furniture tops. She smoothes her hand across a chair and notes the upholstery is fading.

But furnishings aren't what separates very good hotels from great ones. According to both Mobil and AAA inspectors, there are two things that distinguish a five– from a four–star: service and automatic "events." Does the hotel offer turndown service? That's expected at AAA's four–diamond level. Does it replenish bathroom amenities? Place a good–night wish on the pillow? Display a robe on the bed? Then it's in the five–diamond range.

Now it's my turn to see how three high–end hotels compare. I book a night at the Mobil four star Mandarin Oriental in Miami (favorite Florida property of Condé Nast Traveler readers) and the Mobil five–star Four Seasons, Palm Beach. For a new ultra–luxury property, I've chosen Miami Beach's Setai, whose nightly rates start at $900 ($1,000 for an ocean view). Although the hotel doesn't claim six stars, it is among a handful that are being described as an example of this new beast, defined by high style, higher prices, and unparalleled service—at least according to the properties' glossy marketing material.

When I reserved my $750–a–night suite (a summer promotional rate), the reservations agent assured me that The Setai is "very luxe, luxe, luxe."

"Five star?" I asked. "Oh, better than five–star," she replied. "It is&$151;beyond."

Beyond my fondest five–star memories? Like the time a white–coated waiter appeared on the hot sand in Mexico bearing an ice bucket of chilled bottle water just for me, or the time my room butler in Hong Kong brought me tea with fresh ginger at 2am because I had mentioned that I was nauseous from my flight? Bring on the six–star experience!

The Room
Mandarin Oriental
A soaking wet carpet makes the vague Asian decor feel closer to a tropical rain forest. A room change takes nearly an hour (and three phone calls). No apologies.
The Setai
Shogun's retirement condo. Only two bath towels and two hand towels for the whole suite. The wooden garbage pail is chipped, and there are scrapes on the bathroom scale and black smudges on the living room table and bathroom cabinet.
Four Seasons
British colonial decor: ancient TV. The Hollywood glam bathroom dazzles, with two sinks and a separate makeup area, but the scale is broken.