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Bring the heat: Why Malibu, you ask? Angelina Jolie, Cindy Crawford, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Pamela Anderson in swimsuits
Select sand: If Malibu's beaches were supermodels, Zuma would be Cheryl Tiegs: blond, well-proportioned, and friendly. It's open to the public, and there's parking too. (Head to the volleyball courts for great, um, people-watching.) For the more attitudinal side of Malibu, look to the Naomi Campbell-esque Carbon Beach (a.k.a. Millionaire's), which is great to look at but can be vicious to outsiders (think security guards, "No Trespassing" signs, and lawsuits).
Hookup potential: Surprisingly good, though you may find that Ms. Aniston's bodyguard accompanies her on her morning beach stroll. Make the approach to Tinseltown's sexiest off the beach first, perhaps in the valet line at the swank restaurant Geoffrey's Malibu or at one of the chichi shops in the Malibu Country Mart. You are a producer, right?
Privacy rating: Zuma Beach: 2. Millionaire's Beach, that nearly inaccessible bit of sand and rock fronted by a $20-million mansion: 9.8.
Pillow talk: Position yourself on the same beach as the stars' homes. The Malibu Beach Inn is owned by movie mogul David Geffen, and your very private balcony will look onto Millionaire's Beach itself. Plus, it's only a short walk to David's own house for Saturday night drinks your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to secure an invite.
Malibu Beach Inn
Tel: 800 462 5428 (toll-free)
Tel: 310 456 6444
Doubles from $325
Tel: 310 457 1519