Girls, girls, girls? At the Simon Cabaret, gender is an illusion reinforced by good lighting, expensive costumes, and Hollywood musical-style sets. The performers, the infamous "lady boys" of Patong Beach, have charisma to spare: A few are transsexuals, others are cross-dressers, all are lip-syncing divas. You'll overhear greenhorns saying they can't believe these aren't women, but unless you've never seen a drag show before, it's obvious—and that's part of the fun. Expect camp classics such as "Big Spender" and even a little Céline Dion—wholesome drag for the whole family.

The dark, split-level confines of Rock City on Patong Beach Road include a King Kong-sized sound system designed to blast your hair horizontally. The place will rock you, from 11 a.m. to 3 a.m.—during the day you can quaff beers at the outside bar—but don't believe the placards that say Metallica's playing (note the words tribute band in microscopic print underneath). To add to the bizarre mix: Most of the bands are imported from Sweden—whence the owner, a former rocker himself, hails. Even if metal tribute bands ain't your thing, this is the rare nightspot that draws both tourists and Thais. They promise to bring you "one step closer to hell," so keep an open mind.