18 Nov, 2008. I was at Les Bains de Marrakech today with my sister (I'm her brother). We're both in our 40s. We'd booked a hammam, gommage and massage. First, after changing into bathrobes, we were kept waiting for 30 minutes without any explanation. Then we were taken into a lukewarm hammam by a surly woman with offensive body odour. Twice during the hammam another employee came in to chat with the woman, and on both occasions she left the door wide open, causing a freezing draft to blast into the room. She seemed genuinely surprised when I asked her to close the door. When the hammam was over, she invited my sister to take a shower, and told me to get in with her. I said I'd wait, but she said, no, it's a large shower. When I exited the hammam to enter the shower, I saw it was actually a tiny shower and that there is no way I could enter without being wedged in with my sister. Utterly bizarre.
We then waited for our massage in a room with 4 other people, before we were all herded upstairs. I asked for a male masseur, they have just one, he's the sole male employee in the place. I told him I wanted a strong, deep massage to work my muscles. He proceeded to apply copious amounts of oil and rub me like a dog. I stopped him and again explained what I wanted, even demonstrating by massaging him, but again he started to stroke me like a dog. It was just awful. I told him to stop, and he simply left the room. Then a girl came in and acted as if she was going to continue where he had left off. I told her no. Then a manager came in with the original guy, I explained the problem to her, that the masseur just didn't seem to understand the concept of a massage. By this time I was so far from being relaxed that I told them to forget it. Downstairs in the mens changing room as I was pulling up my trousers, still naked from the waist up, two girls came in without even knocking and asked me again to relate the problem. The whole experience was surreal. Awful, amateurish, complete rip off. Avoid.